TIPS On Discussing Incontinence with an Aging Loved One

Talking about incontinence with an elderly loved one can be tough, but it’s important not to ignore the issue. Left untreated, incontinence can lead to skin rashes, sores, and urinary tract infections. The CDC estimates that over half of adults aged 65 and older experience some form of incontinence, yet many wait years before seeking help due to the stigma around the topic.

Step 1: Schedule a Doctor’s Visit Incontinence often has an underlying cause, such as hormonal changes, prostate issues, or the natural aging process. Before having the conversation, take your loved one for a checkup to address any potential health problems. Simple lifestyle changes, like reducing caffeine, can sometimes help, but further tests may be needed if the problem persists.

Step 2: Ask for Help Bringing in a third party, like a trusted doctor or family member, can help ease the conversation. If your loved one becomes defensive, an outside voice may help make them more open to discussing the issue and seeking a solution.

Step 3: Use Respectful Language Be mindful of how you communicate. Approach the subject with a calm, positive tone and avoid accusing language. Emphasize that you want to help and understand that incontinence may be related to a health condition. Use neutral terms like “incontinence pads” or “disposable underwear” instead of words like “diapers,” which can feel stigmatizing.

Step 4: Choose the Right Time and Place Pick a time when your loved one is relaxed and comfortable, such as after a meal or during a favorite activity. The setting should be calm and free from distractions, allowing them to feel at ease and more receptive to the conversation.

Step 5: Lighten the Mood Humor can be a great icebreaker. Relating to the challenges of aging in a lighthearted way can help reduce any embarrassment your loved one may feel. A little humor can go a long way in creating an open dialogue and making the situation feel less intimidating.

Talking about incontinence is important for your loved one’s health and well-being. Don’t let fear stop you from starting the conversation. With the right approach and support, you can help them get the care they need while easing their concerns.